America's Amazing Christmas Smash!
by Leio13
Summary: This year, just like every other year, America was hosting a huge Christmas party. Similarly, everyone was pretty much forced to go. Except Russia, he wasn't even invited.


**Comments from the Author**

Hey! I'm Rika as some may know. This my first Hetalia Fanfic. I based it off a dream and in case you were curious the tree sizes are real. Anyway, i do NOT ship people and if anything is suggested it is because you looked too far into it. AGAIN, I DON"T SHIP PEOPLE! It was only based off how they act in Hetalia.

Enjoy!

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This year, just like every other year, America was hosting a huge Christmas party. Similarly, everyone was pretty much forced to go. Except Russia, he wasn't even invited.

America made sure he had the biggest tree of them all even though it was unlikely he have any competition since England, his only competitor, lost all hope at last year's party. "Dude, my tree was so big last year! It totally put stupid Britain to shame! He probably doesn't even have the guts to bring one this year! Heh, he's so lame. They don't have big trees in Britain, do they? Or at least that what I read on Wikipedia. And even if he does somehow manage to find one, I'll definitely still win, and you know why! Cause… I'M THE HERO! And heroes always win."

He had already found the winner, a 161ft (49m) tree from Idaho. He was so eager to win he had his boss order 15 ft ornaments.

Meanwhile, England desperately searched through his home country. His tallest tree was 90 ft (27.5m). "I heard that American idiot has a tree taller than 100 feet. Well, I'm pretty sure mine is taller then 100 ft and definitely taller than his. Ha, take that America. This year, I will not lose to your absurdly sized tree. …Huh? How many feet? 90 feet? Well, that's certainly not enough. No matter, keep looking and you're granted to find one….No, Really? We looked everywhere? And this was the tallest? That can't be. I refuse to lose to that idiot. I know! We'll visit America and steal one! He'll never notice! It shouldn't be so hard to find a real beauty. I hate to admit we don't have any good trees, but I can't lose! I'll surprise that idiot! He probably thought I gave up after last year's shame. I'll show him!... It's not cheating! It's just being resourceful!"

And so England visited America. When he asked about the tree America had found, America refused to answer, but he didn't care. He knew he'd find a better tree. While his men sneaked around America's land, America talked and talked. England just wished he would shut up and leave so he could see the results. Hours passed and America was still babbling about this year's cake. England had had it. "Excuse me, America, but I need to use the restroom. Don't follow me."

"Sure, go ahead" America didn't realize what England was really up to.

British men rushed forward to tell him the news. They didn't ask what took so long since they knew how Americans could be.

"150ft (46m), huh? Brillant!" Then he hurried back to the impatient brunette who was now curious why England had come. He squinted his eyes. "You came to hear about my tree, didn't you?'

"Of course not! I could tell yours was a loser from across the pond! I figured I might as well ask since I'm here."

"My tree is not a loser" America folded his arms over his chest. _Could Britain really have a winner? He seems so confident. Nah._

…

"Bye!" America waved his arm like a five year old "oh yeah, be prepared to lose!"

"Bye." _We'll see about that. I was right. The idiot didn't notice a bloody thing._

…

The party had begun. England arrived last with his tree. "Pretty impressive, Britain" America greeted him "but not enough for this baby!"

America revealed the winner. It topped England's tree by eleven feet. "How's that a baby?!"

"HAHAHA!" America laughed, "whatever, man, you totally lost. Again. And that's so obviously an American tree."

"It is not!"

"Is to. They only have such great trees in the U.S.A!"

"No" England moved to the bar in shame and planned to drink away his embarrassment. _No way. He beat me. And he could tell._

The blond next to him laughed "ohonhon. Poor Britain. You lost. And taking from another country? You certainly are a naughty boy."

"Like you should talk"

"Hey, Britain. What do you say we hold a _European_ Christmas party together? Another day, of course" France asked.

"Don't joke around! I would never do anything with you intentionally! Not to mention, I will have made myself a big enough fool by the end of this party, I don't need to go to another,"

"Pleeeease." France whined "You can invite America if you want even though he is not European"

"Why the bloody hell would I want to do that that?!" England's face turned rose red. "I would much rather invite a real friend of mine like Japan!"

"Alright, Japan" France sighed "though I thought you would be happy about America."

"You don't get it, do you?" England noticed France's puzzled look. "I'm not coming, you imbecile!"

…

Germany continued to drink. "Wow, this beer is delicious. If only I'd brought some wursts. Then it would be perfect."

"Thanks, man" America said "I was thinking of you and got straight from Germany."

"No wonder" Germany was surprised by how considerate America had been. All this time, he thought America was an obnoxious, arrogant, inconsiderate, loud brat.

Then, he saw something surprising. "Hey, even Russia's here"

"I didn't know they were friends." Italy suddenly said.

He had been so silent Germany had forgotten he was there. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGHHHHH! WHAT TH-"

"Don't worry, dude!" America who had left and apparently came back chuckled, "it's only a fake Russia. I was waiting to see who would scream about it first. Guess you did" He strolled away proudly "wow, I got Germany…Awesome!"

"What the hell?" Germany asked as his head flopped against the table in shock.

…

"Hey! Germany! Are you in there?" Italy waved his hand in front of Germany who had too much to drink. "Is everything alright? You haven't lifted your head since America had arrived and that was about five minutes ago! Five minutes is too long! Get up! Hey, Germany! GERMANY! GERMANY! GERMANY!" He began to squeal and slap the German's face.

"what the…" the blond blinked.

"Oh, Germany! You're alive! Thank goodness!" He hugged Germany tightly and let go ten, short seconds later realizing how awkward it was for Germany and everybody else.

…

"Hey, Japan. Where's my teddy? I can't find it anywhere. Did you eat it again? Remember what happened last time…" The drunk blond grabbed his friend's knee for support.

"I-I don't understand what you're saying" Japan tried to pull back his knee but it was useless. "What's happening?! Why is he touching me like that?!"

"Ohonhon. Britain's drunk." France chuckled.

"Don't worry, Japan, Dude!" America announced, "I'll get him off you!" America, the strongest nation, easily dragged England onto the floor.

"Thank you, America" Japan said with relief "Britain's lost it."

"Aw.." France sighed, "I was just getting into it"

"Where is it, America?!" England cried "my teddy bear?!"

"Dude, chill out." _Heh, Britain wants his teddy. How cute…_

"Indeed, it is quite cold" England said. "Oh, why thank you, America. I would love a coat. I was waiting for you to ask."

"But, I didn't" _Stupid, pathetic Britain. This really is amusing._

…

"This is fun" a guy with gray hair said.

"Russia!" France screamed.

"Hello, France. Japan."

"What are you doing here?!"

"I noticed I had not been invited but I figured it would not be fun without me so I snuck through the back door a couple of minutes ago."

"AAAHHH!" France yelped and moved behind Germany who hadn't even noticed Russia.

"That's just creepy." Japan said sincerely.

"Hey! What are you doing here?!" America shouted as he pushed England into the corner of isolation.

"Oh, Hello." Russia smiled.

"LEAVE!" America demanded.

"Okay." And Russia left.

"Seriously, what's he doing here" America grumbled, "It's _my_ party."

"Are you going to get my bloody bear now or not?'

"Nope"

…

Slowly, the party came to an end and everyone left except England who was still recovering. Everyone seemed to have a good time or almost everyone. "Dude, that was totally super, duper awesome! The best party yet! Well, excluding Russia" America smiled satisfied with himself.

"What the hell just happened?"

"HAHAHA!

**THE END**

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**Author's Commmentary**

****I hope you enjoyed it!

~Rika


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